I've definitely improved since the last post. I definitely hadn't eaten enough, but I still was having as bad time with my anxiety over the socio-political situation and the specific danger that it potentially poses per myself in particular.
Otherwise, I got my self to paint more, and have started on the face-parts for my Paracelsus portrait. Once my internships start and I have a clear, consistent schedule, I'll be able to paint for longer and for more than once a week with less trouble.
Still, I should hope that I'll have the energy to match the time.
5-18-24
I've still been relaxing but I can see myself returning to a more 'normal' state. I'm like Dracula (or your preferred movie vampire) after having gone from sealed in a tomb for centuries to a fresh meal out of the poor sucker (or rather- sucked) who opened it by mistake or looking for loose change.
My continued work on my Paracelsus portrait will be resumed tonight. I think I'll get some of the more basic aspects of the details such as the connecting part of his pommel(?) between his head and shaft(?) as well as the start of his eyes, mouth, and ear(?)flaps.
Then from there, I also like the idea of doing the starting phases of my next next piece while that's drying. If I can make painting work at least twice a week, I'll be thrilled.
Still, I need to be ready for the Summer of internships and a class. I like the idea of being busy if it's a wholesome busy-ness rather than going to work to suffer and then coming back to recuperate with diminishing returns.
Sorry, Regressives, but I need to actually enjoy my job to be able to do it long-term. Ciao!
5-14-25
The last couple of days have been restful- although it's interesting to see how some of my habits in the last month are adapting. It must be like a wild animal being rescued by humans after an injury, and then being introduced to captivity- or the reverse of that.
Still, I'm happy to have this time to rest and return to painting, and sketching too, if I can help it. I think soon I'll add an image slider for my selection of pencil-sketches that I loaded into the site for my project, but never used.
Semi-related: I've added another image for my progress on my portrait of Paracelsus (the key, not the historical alchemist). Using Linwood Oil certainly makes the paint more *ahem* tame compared to painting with undiluted paints.
I'll look forward to making a habit of it further as 1. my workload at home is diminished and b. the workshop is actually warm enough to paint in for extended periods. As I'd taken my class throughout January, this was a problem- early on.
5-11-25
“I am a great soft jelly thing. Smoothly rounded, with no mouth, with pulsing white holes filled by fog where my eyes used to be. Rubbery appendages that were once my arms; bulks rounding down into legless humps of soft slippery matter. I leave a moist trail when I move. Blotches of diseased, evil gray come and go on my surface, as though light is being beamed from within. Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance. Inwardly: alone. Here. Living under the land, under the sea, in the belly of AM, whom we created because our time was badly spent and we must have known unconsciously that he could do it better. At least the four of them are safe at last. AM will be all the madder for that. It makes me a little happier. And yet ... AM has won, simply ... he has taken his revenge ...
I have no mouth. And I must scream.”
5-10-25
The site is proceding well enough. I've finished all of the regular labs, and all that remains is to ensure that all of the boxes on my list are checked for the assignment. Also I need to submit a paper for a business class that I'm sitting on before revision, but I'm already quite confident in that. Considering the nature of it- it doesn't feel like an assignment worth 100 points.
I'll be glad to let this sit for a bit, and add new photos as I make them. Frankly, I'm more interested in working on my rhythm-game prototype from IT-2650, but letting the knowledge from this sit will let me come at it fresh- later.
5-7-25
Still working on the site- but tonight I'm going to display my first two pieces at a small gallery. While I'm looking forward to talking about my work, I don't have as much to say as I'd like to learn by listening to others.
Although, I probably won't stay too long, and driving down to Peninsula twice in a day will be mildly annoying. I don't prefer going to the same place twice in a day, especially when I have more work to do for school.
It'll be fine, and once I know the shape that my Summer will take this year, I'll be glad to paint more than *maybe* once a week.
Anyway- time to work on my next page. I think it'll be the progress portion. That means more basic image sliders to cover my few paintings that I've done.
5-2-25
I continue to struggle with this website. Although the struggle isn't necessarily with the page, it's the obstacles that make up my remaining courses.
I still haven't finished my weekly work for Systems Analysis, and I still have three+ labs to do for this one.
This is all relevant to this art-page because it's keeping me from Doing any art to begin with. I'm so tired.
Something helpful is that I fixed the formatting on the blog divs that make up these entries. I still need work on the placement of of the nav-box, but I'm pleased with the result of the blogs' placements.
Still, I want to walk into Lake Erie and feed the Zebra Mussels.
5-1-25
Work is coming along on the website, but I can't say I'm happy with the amount more to be done. As of today, I have the most basic parts of the index/blog, swatches, and sketches done. The remaining pages need work, and then everything need to be made consistent regarding responsiveness and accessibility.
Having gone through my sketches, I was a lot better than I'd thought. Although the sketches I currently have up are all charcoal and more recent, much of what I did with pencil is pretty good.
What's especially hopeful is that most of it was done as I was within or only just coming out of my four-year-long bout of burnout caused by very bad jobs. For when I have the time, energy, and brainpower, I'm excited to see what I can do after this long break from it.
4-26-25 a.
My instructor learned to use the physical thickness of a lot of paint as a means to create 3-Dimensional Texture for a our paintings. Having tried it, I can see the appeal.
The issue I have isn't just that this stuff can get expensive (the good stuff's from France), but more so that I don't always want to rely on that thick texture.
Thankfully, she also taught us about how to thin paint safely. You could use Ye Olde' Turpentine- or instead what she suggested: Linwood Seed Oil.
Basically, oil paint is made from the pigment- that's the color, and the base, which is an oil. The Linwood Seed Oil just adds more.
4-25-25
After beginning my journey into oil painting, I had to consider how much time I could spend overall, but more particularly, how much time I should spend mxing colors or actually painting.
I love being able to let the paint do some of the work. I'm the type to easily overthink my processes. When I was first learning to sketch digitally, I would constantly be undo-ing any lines I made.
Although I've partially resolved that feeling, it still sits inside me like the remnants of hot wings at about 1am. However, when working with oil paint, once it's there- sure you could scrape it off with a palate-knife, but once it's there- it's there. Accept it.